I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
