Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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