i already hear my dad disowning me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
