Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
