Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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