I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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