I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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