She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
