and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
