some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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