I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
