I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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