Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
