you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
