He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
