Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
