I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
