Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
