omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
