God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
