Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
