Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Enjoy the penises
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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