hell yes lets make some ravioli
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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