There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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