my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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