I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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