i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
