A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
