it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have aggressive nipples.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
