I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
