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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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