if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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