I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
