I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
