We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
