When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
