We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
