I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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