Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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