Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
