I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
