I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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