I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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