so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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