Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
