once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
These tits shall not be calmed
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
