I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
