Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
