At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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