I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
is that a dick in a sweater?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My life is pants optional.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
