i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
