I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize