Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
