Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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