Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
