mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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