I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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