i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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