Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
