I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
