windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
