Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
