I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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