The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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