Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
